Guadalupe’s Dilemma – Reasons to Hone Your Communication Skills

CONFESSION
Guadalupe was a sexually active young woman, engaging in passionate intimacies with men and women alike. Guadalupe so thoroughly enjoyed the many liaisons she had; she recounted her adventures to many of her co-workers. Not all of her co-workers shared her enthusiasm for unbridled lust and one of them, Amy, perhaps envious of a woman who could so openly express her sexuality, called Guadalupe a slut. Totally unprepared for this negative response, Guadalupe was devastated.

CONSEQUENCE
The consequences were problematic on two levels: First, Guadalupe was hurt by the inherent negativity of the word “slut”. This was detrimental to her self-esteem. Secondly, as Amy was a co-worker, the consequences of Amy’s opinion and the information about Guadalupe’s sex life could have been disastrous for her career.

STRATEGY
My strategy for the successful solution of this problem was also on two levels: First and foremost, Guadalupe had to learn to control her mouth. Co-workers had no business knowing such personal information about her. The channels of communication needed to be restricted. Secondly, I needed to ensure that Guadalupe suffered no serious loss of self-esteem. The objective was one of damage control.

SOLUTION
Guadalupe learned to separate her professional life from her personal life. She stopped talking, beyond what was essential, about herself at work. When Amy made attempts to raise the topic again, Guadalupe informed her that she had no desire to discuss her sex life and that Amy’s opinions of her private behavior were not relevant. Consequently, although the rumor mill continued to grind for a short time, there were no long-term negative consequences either to Guadalupe’s employment or to her self-esteem.

BENEFITS
The benefits were tangible and immediate. Not only did Guadalupe benefit from learning how to limit information as to her personal life, but her bi-sexuality served to reinforce a sense of individuality and independence. This inured her to the opinions of others.

This is copyrighted material excerpted from Confessions to a Sexologist: Peeking into the Sexual Secrets of America by Dr. Ava Cadell, Ph.D., Ed.D.

“Everyone knows how to have sex, but being romantic and making love is an art that can be learned,” says Dr. Ava Cadell. Loveologist to Hollywood stars, author of 7 books and acclaimed media personality, Dr. Ava is a pioneer in the field of virtual coaching on all aspects of love, relationships, intimacy and sex.

For more information about Dr. Ava Cadell please visit Loveology University