CONFESSION: Making love to a woman is one of life’s greatest pleasures that Manuel had yet to experience, though it was not lack of desire or opportunity that prevented Manuel from losing his virginity. Manuel’s primary fear was that the first woman who saw him naked would run away laughing. His next concern was what would happen to them if they didn’t run away. At the root of Manuel’s troubles lay the unusual curvature of his penis. When his crooked love tool stood at full attention he thought it looked like a dangerous weapon. He couldn’t imagine that any woman would permit him to penetrate her with it, so he never made any attempt to seduce a potential partner.
CONSEQUENCES: The consequences were potentially devastating. First and foremost, Manuel could see that his erect penis was, indeed, different than that of most other men. Not only would this lend itself to the usual self-esteem issues relating to “being different”, but it could result in some personality disorders due to the loneliness that would result from his fear of rejection by women and his subsequent isolation from them.
STRATEGY: My strategy was to educate Manuel as to the variety of angles and curves of the male erection. While many erections stood straight out, or ramrodded, like a flag pole, the larger the erection, the greater the downward pressure on it due to its weight. Many men’s erections stood flush against the stomach, and curvature of the penis upward was far from uncommon. Extreme curvature to the right or left was far less common, but not unknown. I made sure that Manuel understood there was no such thing as “the perfect penis” and that his penis was just fine.
SOLUTION: I instructed Manuel to learn to love his penis and to learn to appreciate its uniqueness. I encouraged him to discuss theuniqueness of himself as a person, and to emphasize the positive qualities of being special. Practically speaking, I advised him to concentrate on many sexual alternatives such as sensual massage, mutual masturbation and oral sex before engaging in intercourse. By referring to sex manuals on sexual positions, I was able to give him some practical as well as psychological advice too.
BENEFITS: The benefits of educating Manuel were to reassure him that there was nothing “wrong” with his penis, and this improved his self-esteem. Combined with other positive affirmations, it removed his fear of rejection and harm to others.
This is an excerpt from Confessions to a Sexologist: Peeking into the Sexual Secrets of America by Dr. Ava Cadell, Ph.D., Ed.D. Visit Dr. Ava’s bookstore at Loveology University — http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/BookStore.aspx?a_aid=sward
A Day in the Life of a Loveologist 