CONFESSION: Outlets for sexual satisfaction were becoming increasingly scarce for the single, AIDS-conscious Lisa. Needing to fulfill her strong erotic desires, Lisa became quite intrigued when she learned of a group masturbation party. Lisa really enjoyed self-pleasuring, but she hesitated after realizing she might like these parties so much they would become addictive. She would be mortified if she ever ran into anyone she knew who had also attended such a party.
CONSEQUENCE: Lisa was in a sort of limbo and would make no progress one way or the other, until she resolved her problem. The general background of the confession was one of fear of self and fear as to the opinions of others.
STRATEGY: Lisa needed to make a choice as to the sort of lifestyle which was best for her. She had to ask herself if she wanted to date someone she would meet at one of these parties. Her answer was an emphatic, “No”. Accordingly, she came to understand why a man might feel the same way about her. However, the idea of attending a safe group sex party awakened voyeuristic and exhibitionist tendencies within her. The reality of this awareness contributed to more anxiety, and she needed to work on accepting these tendencies.
SOLUTION: Lisa realized that her sexual needs were primarily masturbatory and that her fear of anyone finding out about than would be elimi nated if she did not go to these “Jack and Jill Off” parties, whose sole purpose was group masturbation. She opted for dating only a few men. I provided her with dildos and vibrators to satisfy her most adventurous masturbatory tastes.
BENEFITS: By making Lisa choose, I forced her to answer basic lifestyle issues for herself. Did she want primarily heterosexual relationships or were her voyeurism and exhibitionism more meaningful at this time in her life? The result was a greater sense of security in making lifestyle choices.
This is an excerpt from Confessions to a Sexologist: Peeking into the Sexual Secrets of America by Dr. Ava Cadell, Ph.D., Ed.D. Visit Dr. Ava’s bookstore at Loveology University — http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/BookStore.aspx?a_aid=sward