CONFESSION: Danny was losing his touch when it came to self-pleasure. His attempts at masturbation were thwarted by frequent loss of erection, or no erection at all. What used to be a relaxing experience for Danny was becoming a constant source of frustration.
CONSEQUENCE: Psychological impotence can develop into a vicious circle of failure and the anticipation of failure. The most dire consequence of this for Danny was that a pattern might be established that he could not break.
STRATEGY: The release from stress was important in these types of cases, and that release had to come from within. It would be necessary to divert Danny’s attention away from sex as a means of diffusing the fear.
SOLUTION: Danny stopped masturbating altogether, and instead spent his extra time concentrating on meditation. We tried a variety of relaxing meditative techniques, all designed to alleviate stress, particularly Tai Chi, and Yoga exercises. I encouraged him to re-introduce sensuality into his masturbation, by having him describe his sexual fantasies and discover new erogenous zones on his body. By de-mechanizing the masturbation syndrome that he was in, Danny was encouraged to use his private time to overcome the stress and frustration that was building up inside of him, with Yoga or Tai Chi. When he returned to masturbating, I provided him with some adult rated videos and magazines with which to fantasize, so as to combat the boredom.
BENEFITS: By taking the emphasis away from sex, and making masturbation less conscious for him, it enabled Danny to discontinue an approach that didn’t work for him and it allowed me to directly address the stress issue, which was the chief problem.
This is an excerpt from Confessions to a Sexologist: Peeking into the Sexual Secrets of America by Dr. Ava Cadell, Ph.D., Ed.D. Visit Dr. Ava’s bookstore at Loveology University — http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/BookStore.aspx?a_aid=sward
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