Kinky Sexual Fantasies in Marriage

CONFESSION: There was no question that Catherine enjoyed the various exotic scenarios that her ultra-active imagination devised for her amusement and arousal. But there were certain sexual fantasies that she explored in her mind which made her afraid of her own kinkiness.As the fear of discovering that she was kinky beyond redemption made her distance herself from her natural inquisitiveness, she found that she was becoming more inhibited and less willing to experiment with new ideas even with her husband. This, in turn, created the fear that her husband would soon lose interest in her and leave her for someone more exciting and inventive in bed.

CONSEQUENCE: Catherine’s expression of her own sex fantasies was resulting in an unsatisfactory sex life, which became a self-fulfilling prophecy as her husband would lose interest. Neither she nor her marriage benefited from this.

STRATEGY: Catherine was suffering from a certain guilt complex, and an inability to trust herself, which made her mistrustful of others. Catherine’s fantasies, which involved being bound and gagged while being violated, were actually fairly common. I needed to get her to let go of the guilt, trust her husband, and enjoy theadventure of surrender safely, using code words and starting off with light bondage that she could disengage herself from.

SOLUTION: Catherine was blindfolded stark naked. Her husband, remained clothed until she was blindfolded, then bound her hands and feet with a satin scarf leaving enough room for her to wiggle out of if she wanted. This made her aware of her vulnerable position. Having solicited from her the admission that she wished to be violated, he gagged her so that she could scream, and not disturb the neighbors. Her sense of sight and touch was deprived, so as to better use her sense of hearing he told her all the things he was going to do to her as he took her, and the restriction of her sight, speech and body movement only increased the intensity of her mental imagery. This scenario was successful and resulted in a much happier Catherine, as well as reinforced the bond between her and her husband. However, they didn’t play out the fantasy on a regular basis, just once in a while to keep their sex life unpredictable and passionate.

BENEFITS: The result of this action was that it would make Catherine whole again. By getting her to not only accept, but enjoy her fantasies, there would be a certain exhilaration at the reunification of her liberation.

This is an excerpt from Confessions to a Sexologist: Peeking into the Sexual Secrets of America by Dr. Ava Cadell, Ph.D., Ed.D. Visit Dr. Ava’s bookstore at Loveology University — http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/BookStore.aspx?a_aid=sward

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