Sexual Etiquette: What Does He Mean When He Says “I Love You” During Sex?

CONFESSION: During unguarded moments of sexual intimacy Ray’s sentimentality often got the better of him. Those three little words, upon which civilizations have been built and destroyed, came tumbling unbidden from his lips. “I love you” was the only phrase that seemed appropriate at the time to express his emotional connectedness to his lover.  Bitter experience taught him that men and women havea  significantly different interpretation of love innocently proclaimed. He feared that his inability to repress those words would one day and with the wrong partner lead to an emotionally devastating conclusion.

CONSEQUENCE: Some people would take you literally at your word, or would not share the same definition of words. Ray’s inability to choose his words as well as he chose his partners would cause hurt feelings later on.

STRATEGY: Ray might be best advised to have sex only with those persons he truly loved. However, it was unlikely that would happen. Consequently, he needed to be selective both in his words and actions.

SOLUTION: I had Ray think up some alternative words for love and to think of some explicit sexual terms that could express intimacy. A sexpartner was equally flattered by a graphic sexual compliment. By remaining as conscious of what he said as he was of what he did, the post-coital complications could be lessened.

BENEFITS: The benefit was that it lessened the risk of someone’s feelings being hurt and increased Ray’s responsibility for his own words or behavior.

Confessions to a Sexologist: Peeking into the Sexual Secrets of America by Dr. Ava Cadell, Ph.D., Ed.D. Visit Dr. Ava’s bookstore at Loveology University — http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/BookStore.aspx?a_aid=sward

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